Its been awhile since ive written anything and i figure even though everyday is a new start the begining of november just seems to have a nice ring to it, and now that midterms are over i feel like i can start fresh, or something.
So here it goes.
I finally finished The Artists Way, it somehow took me several months to complete the week 12 assignments and they are all based around worries and fears of going back into the world and making art. Am i good enough should i even be in school for this or wait a few years and then come back, am i committed enough, and frick is this even something i can make money at one day. I mean its all legit stuff. I just had my printmaking midterm on thursday and my profs were pleased with my work but still wanted me to push everything much further, and i worry that i dont know what further means or really how to push myself forward enough. I want to express emotion in my work yet im too timid when it comes to my art, affraid of scratching more then the surface.Maybe im just scared of what i might discover if i go deep. yikes a bee! what a dilemma
When Kate left i never properly mourned for her, i just changed my surroundings completely i went to europe and then switched schools in the fall and just sort of kept going without looking back.
But her passing has affected every relationship ive had in the past 5 years. I havent been able to get and stay close with anyone not even my family, everyone is at a comfortable distance. Ive decided to start seeing an art therapist because well lets face it thats not healthy. And i cant move forward until i mend whats behind me.
And then maybe sadness will no longer follow me home
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