I Sea

Give It A Listen

http://8tracks.com/analogical/to-make-a-bad-day-better

 

 

I have a week to finish all of my work, and then school is over a few days later. its exciting because i cant wait to go home but ive still got a whole month

i have little to no motivation left for this semester and there is 6 days

all i want to do is lie in bed

this sadness is so draining

its warm and safe and my blankets will always snuggle me tight

and hold me through the night

 The sunlight comes into my room like a kaleidoscope of colour its golden rays filtering through and lighting up my bottles,dyed fabric, and all the silly things i keep but never throw away

Im just learning at 21 its okay to ask for help

and they are called family for a reason

thank you for letting me lean on you 

in my fragile state

while i try to mend whats been torn

 Isnt this beautiful

 

Acceptance 

is still the hardest pill to swallow

ks i still miss you

especially today

you would enjoy this kaleidoscopic light

im certain of it

<3

We Can Only Go Up From Here

Its been awhile since ive written anything  and i figure even though everyday is a new start the begining of november just seems to have a nice ring to it, and now that midterms are over i feel like i can start fresh, or something.

So here it goes.

 

I finally finished The Artists Way, it somehow took me several months to complete the week 12 assignments and they are all based around worries and fears of going back into the world and making art. Am i good enough should i even be in school for this or wait a few years and then come back, am i committed enough, and frick is this even something i can make money at one day. I mean its all legit stuff. I just had my printmaking midterm on thursday and my profs were pleased with my work but still wanted me to push everything much further, and i worry that i dont know what further means or really how to push myself forward enough. I want to express emotion in my work yet im too timid when it comes to my art, affraid of scratching more then the surface.Maybe im just scared of what i might discover if i go deep. yikes a bee! what a dilemma

  When Kate left i never properly mourned for her, i just changed my surroundings completely i went to europe and then switched schools in the fall and just sort of kept going without looking back.

But her passing has affected every relationship ive had in the past 5 years. I havent been able to get and stay close with anyone not even my family, everyone is at a comfortable distance. Ive decided to start seeing an art therapist because well lets face it thats not healthy. And i cant move forward until i mend whats behind me.

And then maybe sadness will no longer follow me home