I dont even know how to begin.
Yesterday was the anniversary of kates death.
A part of me died when she left, i guess i just never took the time to work through the shock , pain and sadness, of no longer having her around. Its been 5 years.I havent been able to get close to anyone since you left, even friends and family i still keep at a distance,i couldnt bare to go through that again. I keep myself well hidden and only reveal parts and pieces over time. I wish i had someone to talk to now, but no one seems to be around, or would want to hear about it anyways. Usually id end up calling my mother but shes away. I feel hollow and empty and totally uncertain of what the fuck im supposed to do next. This week is also pretty stressful with finishing my final projects for school. I really dont like weaving anymore, its just become a chore now instead of a relaxing, fun thing.My notebook still needs more time and i only have a couple of days which is making me freak out. All i can do is lie here in this bed and wish for things that come so easily to others, and fall back into my day dreams of far off places. Because at the end of the day thats how i keep breathing.
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